By Ashley Kilgore, LPCC
Imagine you’re attending an event surrounded by other professionals in your field. Do you feel that you belong there? Or does this image fill you with dread and you think “I don’t deserve to be here. I’m not like everyone else. They’re so accomplished and knowledgeable and I’m not”.
If the second sentence describes you, don’t worry. You’re not alone in feeling this way. This feeling is known as “impostor syndrome” or “impostor phenomenon”. It occurs when you feel as if your accomplishments and expertise have been acquired through luck rather than through hard work, skill, talent, and dedication. Someone who struggles with impostor syndrome feels as if they’re a fraud and can’t measure up against others who have similar training, education, and expertise.
This phenomenon was first described by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978 (Abrams, 2018). Research has found that impostor syndrome affects both men and women and can be caused by a wide range of factors, including childhood experiences, personality traits, and experiencing discrimination (Abrams, 2018). But regardless of these causes, impostor syndrome makes it difficult for someone to own their success and feel confident in their expertise.
Within this syndrome, there are five distinct patterns that someone can experience. These were developed by Dr. Valerie Young (Wilding, n.d) and include:
The Perfectionist
This pattern is characterized by setting unrealistically high expectations for yourself. When this happens, failure is inevitable because the standards are impossible to reach. This helps reinforce your beliefs of being “not good enough”. People with these traits often find it difficult to let go of control and feel that they have to do everything themselves. This is a very black and white way of thinking and can cause major stress and self-doubt.
The Superman/Superwoman
Are you the first one in the office and the last one to leave? Do you volunteer your days off to pick up extra shifts? Have you neglected that hobby you once enjoyed in order to work more hours? If so, then you may fall into the pattern of superman/superwoman. This person feels as if they have to prove something and take on anything and everything in order to show their value and worth. As result, they can experience a high amount of burnout.
The Soloist
The soloist refuses any help and fears being seen as weak or unintelligent if they take their co-worker up on their offer to carry some of the workload. If they can’t complete a task on their own, then they fear this will only prove that they are not cut out for the job.
The Expert
Someone who struggles with the expert pattern will research for hours and read every book, article, blog, podcast, etc available to them before pitching an idea at work or before starting a new project. If you recoil in horror every time someone refers to you as an “expert”, you may fall into this subgroup. The expert feels that they have to be 100% knowledgeable on a topic and will often hesitant to speak up or apply for something if they don’t check every single box.
The Natural Genius
This pattern is similar to the perfectionist in that a person has impossibly high expectations of themselves, but they have an added layer: getting it right immediately. Any skill takes times and practice to master, but for some people, if they can’t get something right away, then they view themselves as a failure.
Once you recognize what pattern is most similar to you, then you can begin the work to overcome these irrational thoughts.
1) Learn to put these thoughts in perspective. The first step is acknowledging you have these fears and anxieties. The trick is to just observe and not engage, which is easier said than done. Asking yourself “Is this thought helping me or is it hurting me?” is a good first step in practicing this.
2) Challenge the thoughts you have and learn to reframe them. I often encourage my clients to ask themselves “What proof do I have that this thought is true?” Is it true that your co-worker is smarter than you? Or is it more likely that they have the same training, education, and qualifications that you do and they just have a different way of responding/completing a task? Learning to reframe your thoughts can help increase your confidence.
3) Learn to think in shades of gray. Instead of viewing yourself as a complete failure, ask yourself questions such as “What can I learn from this experience?” or “How much of this was a success?”
4) Look for internal validation instead of external validation. Sure, we all enjoy being told what a valuable asset we are to the team or that we did a great job with a project, but when we start to base all of our self-worth on outside praise, we often give others the power to control our emotions.
5) Ask for help and learn that constructive criticism is not a personal attack. A method that I sometimes teach the people I work with is called the double standard method. With this method, you talk to yourself in the same way you would talk to a friend or loved one. If they asked for help, would you tell them they’re weak? Or would you support them? Chances are it’s the latter. Learning to be kinder to yourself can help you increase your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Impostor syndrome is a very common experience that many people have struggled with. It often causes us to doubt ourselves and can lead to burnout, anxiety, and poor self-esteem. By practicing some of the techniques described above, you can learn to combat these thoughts and realize that you are more than capable and you deserve to be exactly where you are.
References
Abrams, A. (2018, June 20). Yes, Impostor Syndrome is Real: Here's How to Deal With It. Time. https://time.com/5312483/how-to-deal-with-impostor-syndrome/.
Wilding, M. J. (2021, May 17). 5 Types of Imposter Syndrome and How to Stop Them. The Muse. https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-different-types-of-imposter-syndrome-and-5-ways-to-battle-each-one.